I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
