I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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