her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wear drunk well.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
