Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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