need another drink. this is the easiest way
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
