dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
