My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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