just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
