O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
