A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
