I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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