You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
