I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
