I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize