Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
