i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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