Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
