I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
