No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
