she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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