"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
