It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize