i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize