1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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