And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
