I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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