I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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