So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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