Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
