Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
