how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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