I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
