I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize