I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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