your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
