and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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