well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
