I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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