and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
