Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All I want is dick and wine.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
