Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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