Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
