omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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