She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
