So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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