I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
