Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
