i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
foreskin is a definite game changer
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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