I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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