I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize
