When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
