My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
