So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Randomize
