wakey wakey hands off snakey
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
