I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
