This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
