Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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