No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
