Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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