kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
