I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
