I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
