Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
