i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
