Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
no you cant smoke seaweed
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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