at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
