Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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