WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
