How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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