Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
