i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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