if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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