I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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