im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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