I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize