These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
