he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
